1 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,034 No, you don't understand. 2 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:10,554 I want results, not excuses. OK? 3 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:14,599 Quarterly figures on my desk by the time I reach the office. 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:22,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 5 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,396 Thank you, driver. 6 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:45,914 Cancel the 12:30. Put the 4:30 up to 3:00. - And the 3:15? 7 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,117 Make it 6:00. - At 6:10 you're on Radio 4. 8 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,350 6:20, then. Missed a bit, sonny. 9 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,396 Sorry, madam. 10 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,317 Right. What about New York? 11 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,039 You and Robert are booked on first class at 7:00. 12 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,190 Good work, Rachel. Thank you. 13 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,396 Oh, no, Ms Gifford. Thank you. 14 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,080 I can't tell you how much I appreciate the opportunity. 15 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,957 Your ex-husband's on line three. 16 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,316 Oh, God. Again? Take a message. 17 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,073 There's a caller on line two who wants to order stationery. 18 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,116 Stationery?! 19 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,630 Since when do I take orders for stationery? 20 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:51,000 200 manila envelopes, 400 paperclips, five boxes of correction fluid... 21 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,470 Thank you for choosing Ferguson Office Supplies. Enjoy your stationery. 22 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,352 Yeah? - I'd llke to order some Chinese food, please. 23 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:15,468 A number 6, two number 32s, and one of your delicious soya-based desserts. 24 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:16,675 Adam, what do you want? 25 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,320 Oh, you know, just a chat. See how you're feeling. 26 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,710 Well, I'm feeling like shite. So, can I go now, please? 27 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,518 Hang on, hang on. What's happened? 28 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,113 Look, I've moved out, right. 29 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,919 You moved... So, where are you going to sleep tonight? 30 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,956 Oh, let me see. 31 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,237 The bottom of the Manchester Ship Canal. How's that? 32 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,229 Hello? 33 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:46,678 Are you fully aware just how bloomingly, radiantly gorgeous you are? 34 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,910 You're being affectionate. What's wrong? 35 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,070 I can't help it. It's the effect you have on me. 36 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,152 So, um...was there anything else? 37 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,151 No, no. Just that. 38 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,595 Oh, yeah... Um, I need to ask a wee favour. 39 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,035 The answer's no. - You don't know what it is yet. 40 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,873 ''Can Pete come to stay?'' Adam, the answer is no. 41 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,712 I'm still cleaning up after last time. 42 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,870 Oh, come on, Rach. For me, yeah? 43 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,236 No! Absolutely not. I'm so sorry. Goodbye. 44 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,674 That went very well. 45 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,549 Heather? 46 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,359 Felix! What a pleasant surprise. 47 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:27,752 I'm stuck in this terminally dull meeting with your son-in-law, 48 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,752 and I was suddenly overcome with a strong desire to call you. 49 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,118 Felix, could you hold on just a moment? I think we've got mice on the line. 50 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,749 250 different ringing tones. 51 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,360 Bach... Scarlatti... 52 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,436 Paganini, I think. Yeah. 53 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,159 1000-number memory, text messaging... 54 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,629 Internet access? 55 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,553 Not as such, no. But this plastic cover thing is swappable. 56 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,518 On the next generation of mobiles Internet will be as standard. 57 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,637 David, this isn't a phone. It's a brick with numbers on it. 58 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,676 Check this out. 59 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,149 Oh, now, that is beautiful. 60 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,710 Fax, word processor, Internet access. Don't touch that button. 61 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,949 Why? What is it? 62 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,996 Cigarette lighter. - Really? 63 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:20,629 That reminds me. Excuse me, I've just got to make an urgent...business call. 64 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:21,914 I won't be a minute. 65 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,351 Settling in all right, Janet? 66 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,509 Jenny. 67 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,354 Jenny? My girlfriend's got an aunt called Jenny. 68 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,429 Small world. 69 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,476 Except she's dead now. 70 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,033 Her aunt, I mean. 71 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,315 I know how she feels, Barry. 72 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,789 If you need a hand, just give us a shout. 73 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,555 We're all just one big happy family here. 74 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,596 Er, you might want to get that. 75 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,790 Ferguson Office Supplies. How can I help you? 76 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,313 Hiya. It's me. 77 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,469 Oh, hello. 78 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,994 Bad time? - It's always a bad time here. 79 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,514 They're very strict on personal phone calls. 80 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,229 If they catch you they beat you to death with rolls of fax paper. 81 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,992 I just wanted to hear your voice. 82 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,354 Look, I'm at work. 83 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,396 If I order something will you keep talking? 84 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,072 All right. Um... 85 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:17,432 Well, we've got... some self-laminating pouches. 86 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,753 Some lateral suspension files. They're very nice. 87 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:28,073 And there's lots and lots of long, thick, leaded pencils. 88 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,434 Listen, I've got to go. The boss is lurking. 89 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:34,589 Can I see you tonight? 90 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,434 Er... No. No, I don't think so. - Tomorrow, then? 91 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,909 Look, it's a bit quick. - Jenny? 92 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,230 Thanks for calling Ferguson Office Supplies. 93 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,476 So, tell me, exactly how late are you? 94 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,199 I'm not late. I'm not due back till two. - I don't mean work. 95 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,556 I mean your...what-d'you-call-it. 96 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,039 Is that a medical term, is it? 97 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,749 You know what I'm talking about. - Go on. Go on. Use the proper word. 98 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,513 All right, then. The curse. 99 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,155 I'm two weeks late. 100 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,390 Is that a lot? - Can we stop talking about this? 101 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,833 Yeah. Sure. 102 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,189 You ate that very quickly. - So? 103 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,397 If you're eating for two, perhaps we should split the bill three ways? 104 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,074 Adam, I might not be pregnant. 105 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,116 But you must be. - Why? 106 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,342 Well, surely women just...know. - How? 107 00:06:31,377 --> 00:06:35,836 I don't know. It's sort of...mystical, isn't it? Something to do with the moon and the tides. 108 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,319 Are your breasts getting bigger? 109 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,755 I don't know. Do they look bigger? 110 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,190 Well, they're very nice, but... 111 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,236 it's hard to tell from here. 112 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,118 Adam, calm down. 113 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,031 I can't calm down. I'm excited. 114 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,476 I can't sit still or sleep for thinking about it. 115 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,235 I think we should sort this out once and for all. We should get a pregnancy test. 116 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,834 Absolutely. You wait here. 117 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,514 Where are you going? - There's a chemist across the road. 118 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,511 Adam, I'm not doing it here. 119 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,750 Well, obviously not here. 120 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,512 There's a loo out the back. 121 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,353 I have to be back at the office in a minute. We'll do it tonight. 122 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,317 Tonight? It's a date. 123 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,676 I might be a bit late, though. Pete's asked me to interrogate Jen. 124 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,957 We'll meet back at home and make a real night of it, OK? 125 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,598 All right. 126 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,955 So, Pete sent you, then? 127 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,828 Sent me? - Yeah. To check up on the Scarlet Lady. 128 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,348 No, I just thought it would be nice to have a... 129 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:33,589 Yes. 130 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,468 It's nothing serious, OK? I'm just having a laugh. 131 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:38,709 A laugh? 132 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,872 Remember? We used to do it all the time way back in the late '80s. 133 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,350 What about Pete? Technically you are still married. 134 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,670 I don't believe I'm hearing this. 135 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:48,556 What? 136 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:52,110 A lecture on family values from the Marquis de bloody Sade! 137 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,794 When you split with Rachel you went at it hammer and tongs. 138 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,871 Ah, yes, but you know, that wasn't fun. 139 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:02,159 No, that was me hiding my pain behind a brash, womanising exterior. 140 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,276 Actually, it was fun. 141 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,355 It's just... 142 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,910 Oh, God, it's so nice just to be desired again, 143 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,036 if you know what I mean. 144 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:18,194 Anyway, we can't all float around on a white, fluffy cloud of romantic bliss like you and Rach. 145 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,475 It's not always romantic bliss, you know. 146 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,516 Trouble in paradise? 147 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,273 What's she done? Shampooed without conditioner? 148 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,318 There's loads of stuff between me and Rachel you don't know about. 149 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,356 Oh, right. Yeah. The dark side. 150 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,271 No, not dark, just... 151 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,469 ..complicated. 152 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,516 Right, yeah. It must be. Look at you. 153 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,876 Really complicated. Flowers, champagne for the woman you love. 154 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,475 Healthy joint income, no kids, nice house, no responsibilities. 155 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,516 Am I starting to sound bitter? - A little. 156 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,239 Yeah. Cos I am. 157 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,312 Listen, just tell Pete I'm so sorry. 158 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,198 I didn't mean to upset him. I was just letting off a bit of steam. 159 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,111 I was having a laugh. 160 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,156 I was, and... 161 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:02,472 Oh, God, if it's any consolation, I don't think this Robert's that bothered about me anyway. 162 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,916 Who the hell...! 163 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,352 Well, I don't think they're from Pete. 164 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,316 Hello, Sleeping Beauty. 165 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,356 Oh, my God. 166 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,960 David, they're beautiful. - Aren't they? 167 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,076 Where's your mother? 168 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,833 In the kitchen. Why? 169 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,196 Karen, the twins are crying. 170 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,238 Did Felix talk about me? 171 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,072 And nothing else. 172 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,913 He's picking you up tomorrow night. 7:30. 173 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,798 Could I have a word, please? 174 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,791 In private. 175 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,038 Stop it. - Stop what? 176 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,032 You know what. Pimping for your slimy business friends. 177 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,076 It's not pimping. It's matchmaking. 178 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:06,915 But in case you hadn't noticed, David, she's married. To my father, as a matter of fact. 179 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,037 Well, I won't tell him if you don't. 180 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,433 You really are a moral black hole, aren't you? 181 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,233 If that's Felix Bishop, tell him she's grounded. 182 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,114 Sorry to disturb you. I just wondered if you'd heard the terrible news? 183 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,475 Sorry, not interested. 184 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,595 Who was it? 185 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,148 Jehovah's Witness. Flogging their Bad News Bible. 186 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,072 Look we're all C of E here. - I really think you should read this. 187 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:53,989 Hiya. 188 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,672 Hi. 189 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,591 Flowers, champagne and... 190 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,279 Da-da! One pregnancy test. 191 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,239 Tell you what, though - good job this doesn't happen very often. These are ten quid a pop. 192 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,276 Ten quid for a stick you pee on. 193 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,799 Shame you can't make your own. 194 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,235 Adam, I'm not pregnant. - We'll soon find out. 195 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,312 No, I mean I know I'm not pregnant. 196 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,836 Are you sure? - Absolutely. It happened just now. 197 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,476 False alarm. 198 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,471 OK. 199 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,913 I see. 200 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,835 Let's just have some champagne, then, shall we? 201 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,876 I'm sorry. 202 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,190 I shouldn't have got your hopes up. 203 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,713 Ah, don't be daft. 204 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,870 Are you disappointed? 205 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,428 Disappointed? No. Well, a little. 206 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:45,748 Um... 207 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:50,319 We're just celebrating something else now, aren't we? 208 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,073 To a near miss. 209 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,636 To a near miss. 210 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,991 ''The Council have decided to sell off Brookwood Park and playground, 211 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,595 and turn it into a large-scale retail development and car park.'' 212 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,439 Bang go the property prices. 213 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,239 Is that all you can think of? Property prices? 214 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,276 That's what it's about, isn't it? 215 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:20,433 I mean, it's hardly Tuscany. Just a couple of dodgy swings and a scrap of green. 216 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,592 Where your son goes to play. Josh loves those swings. 217 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:27,275 There's a perfectly good swing in the shed. - That's not the point, though. 218 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,512 It's not about whether Josh has access to a swing, or property prices. 219 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,955 It's about the community, other people's children 220 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,634 who don't have three-quarters of an acre to run around in. 221 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,591 The erosion of our quality of life. 222 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:43,070 If there was something I could do, I would, honestly. 223 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,470 So, go to the meeting. Tomorrow night. 6:30 pm. 224 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,518 Don't just come over all nimbyish, and then refuse to do anything. 225 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:54,071 Community meeting? I hate the idea of it all - weak tea and economy biscuits. 226 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,116 You are so apathetic. - I'm not. 227 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,556 Yes, you are. When have you ever made a stand on anything? 228 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,279 Marched, protested, made your voice heard? 229 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,112 Apartheid. 230 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,270 You stopped drinking South African wine. 231 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,477 I very much doubt Nelson Mandela will be sending you a thank-you note. 232 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,676 Well, why don't you go? 233 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,069 OK. Great. I'd love to. 234 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,357 You can bath the children, and talk to my mother about her boyfriend. 235 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,396 All right, all right. I'll go. 236 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,948 I can tell you this, it'll be a complete waste of time. 237 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,556 Oh, shite. Shite. 238 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,868 Oh, yeah? 239 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,679 Hey! Hello, mate. Sorry, did I wake you? 240 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,548 Would I be right in thinking you're pissed? - You sound like Jenny when you say that. 241 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,757 Except... Except the accent's wrong. 242 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:43,277 You gotta hold your hands out like that, and go, ''What time of night do you call this?'' 243 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,794 Where've you been, Pete? - Not bad. 244 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,472 But the accent's still wrong. 245 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,551 It needs to be more nasal. More flatter. 246 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:50,868 Seriously, though. 247 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:55,875 Seriously though... I've been out doing what you told me to do. Out looking for flats. 248 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,154 Where? 249 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,229 Let me see... 250 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,756 The Ship And Anchor, the Prince John, and the Carpenter's Arms. 251 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,037 And do you know what? Not one of them had flats. 252 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,873 But do you know what they did have? Lager! 253 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,394 You've been to the pub by yourself. 254 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,436 No, no, no, no. 255 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,636 I've been out with Jenny. 256 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,349 Er... No, I forgot. 257 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,876 I've split up with Jenny. Yes, I was by myself. 258 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,110 Don't go drinking on your own, Pete. 259 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,475 Why don't you come and join me? 260 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:30,439 Are you wise? I am going back to Rachel. 261 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,596 You know, I really love you. 262 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,312 I love you too, mate. 263 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,272 No, I mean it. I bloody do love you. 264 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:52,956 I think it's an absolute bloody tragedy what happened with you and Jen. 265 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,554 I've got to tell you something. Something rotten. 266 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,791 Something that happened earlier tonight. - Go on. 267 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,509 You mustn't tell Rachel I told you. - Jenny made a pass at you. 268 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,909 No, Rachel and me... What? 269 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,468 Jenny tried to get off with you again. 270 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,152 No. What did you say that for? 271 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,470 She fancies you. She's always fancied you. 272 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,959 And now that I'm off the scene... 273 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,110 Hold on to your horses, you big bollocks! 274 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:19,159 ''Oh, Adam. Lovely Adam. Twinkly, Irish, funny Adam. 275 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,949 Is Adam going to be there? Are we going to invite Adam?'' 276 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:27,079 Hey, Adam, do you think Rachel secretly fancies me? 277 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,796 You wanker! 278 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,512 If you want to borrow money to go to a hotel, I will lend it to you. 279 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,831 But you make sure you're gone out of here by tomorrow night. 280 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,635 Good morning. - Give us a kiss. 281 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,598 Oh, no way! Not till you've brushed your teeth. 282 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,432 Worth a try. 283 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,715 Adam? - Yeah? 284 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,030 Are you still all right about yesterday? 285 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,236 About the near miss? 286 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,476 Yeah. Of course. Of course. 287 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,196 We're lucky, aren't we? 288 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:28,918 Yeah. 289 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,548 Yeah. 290 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:04,959 So, what do you reckon, eh? 291 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,759 It is fantastic! - Hey, it's all right, in't it? 292 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:11,435 Yeah, and the carpet doesn't make that sucking noise when you walk on it. 293 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,112 Mind you, I'm going to miss that. 294 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,715 It's gonna need a lick of paint. A couple of coats of magnolia should sort it. 295 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,634 Yeah. Some new furniture. Can we burn the futon? 296 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,476 Has it got a spare bedroom, love? 297 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,516 What do we want a spare room for? 298 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,512 Well, you know, just...after we get married an' that, 299 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,353 if there's ever more than just the two of us. 300 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:36,036 How do you mean? Like a lodger? Like Adam? - No. 301 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,439 I know what you're on about. 302 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,318 Don't panic. I think we'd better get a bed before we have a baby. 303 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,472 Hey, shall we go and see the rest of it? - Yeah. 304 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,196 Of course, it'll need some work doing. You know, painting and... 305 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,476 Are you on your own? 306 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,155 Sorry? 307 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,037 Is it just you? 308 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,951 Yeah. It's just me. 309 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,035 Angry? 310 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:12,870 Yeah. 311 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,439 Can I come in? - No. 312 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,795 So, giving you these isn't going to help much. 313 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,230 Flowers. - To apologise...for the flowers. 314 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,118 Robert, I just think it's inappropriate. 315 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,834 I know I've been a bit full-on, 316 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,230 and I should be a bastard, and not phone you, pretend I'm not interested, 317 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,880 and all that crap men are supposed to do, but... 318 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,676 ..the fact is I am interested. 319 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,950 So...why pretend I'm not? 320 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:45,830 Am I making sense? I mean, shall I go on, or are the police on their way already? 321 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,593 Go on. - You know, you should count yourself lucky. 322 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,478 Compared to some sods out there, I'm a good catch. 323 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,790 I'm reliable, I'm affectionate. 324 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,553 I am, I'm told, more than averagely good in bed. 325 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,596 Passionate and courteous. 326 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,830 Imaginative... 327 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,229 but not weird or kinky. 328 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,869 I'm clean, which I know doesn't sound much, but shouldn't be taken for granted. 329 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:11,397 If I'm a bit over-enthusiastic, I'm sorry. I won't phone you again. 330 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,675 I'll... I'll wait for you to call me, 331 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,354 and if I don't hear from you... 332 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,469 ..that's a shame. 333 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,872 Because whatever happens, Jenny, whether you phone me or not, 334 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,838 I think you're absolutely spectacular. 335 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,193 See you. 336 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,429 Hello? 337 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,476 Hiya. 338 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,516 Hello. How are you? 339 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,396 Good. Listen, I was just thinking. 340 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,998 Do you want to go out tonight? 341 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,913 Yeah. Er... 8:00? 342 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,319 30. 343 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,277 8:30 it is. 344 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,669 Conditions as follows. - Go on. 345 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,990 I choose the restaurant. I pay for dinner. 346 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,638 No more flowers. 347 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,472 Agreed. 348 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,118 I'll see you then. 349 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,198 What year were you born? 350 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:17,554 1967. 351 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,471 You're a mature student? - No. 352 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:20,549 You're not a student? 353 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,312 No. I'm not mature. Ha-ha! 354 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,312 No, but I was a student. 355 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,879 When? - 12 years ago. 356 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,075 What did you study? 357 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,355 Accountancy. 358 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,671 I know what you're thinking - ''Accountancy, boring!'' 359 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,548 But no, no, they were pretty wild times. Oh, yeah, I can assure you of that. 360 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,835 There was one time we got completely wasted. 361 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,480 We'd been in the pub all day, and went to my mate's house, 362 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,154 and he had some weed, so we rolled this great big spliff. 363 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,835 I had a puff on it, next thing you know - bang! I passed out in the kitchen. 364 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,593 Smacked my head on the formica top. Blood everywhere! 365 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:56,629 Had to be hospitalised. Even had a brain scan. Nearly lost the sight in one eye. 366 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,154 Ooh, students, eh? Ho ho! 367 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,277 So, where do you stand on Third World debt? 368 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:07,955 Basically my feeling is, if you borrow money, you've got to pay it back. 369 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,749 Right. Well, Peter, we'll let you know. 370 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:16,470 Now over to the Chairman of your Residents' Association, Mr Phillips. 371 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,355 So, if I may refer you to item one on the agenda, 372 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,796 concerning the official naming of our little band. 373 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,154 Anyone any ideas? 374 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,312 Are we allowed to smoke? - I'll put it to the floor. 375 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,676 What's our smoking policy? 376 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,716 And this would be your room. 377 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,110 Your own bathroom up there, so no queuing for the loo. 378 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,155 Oh, great. 379 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,152 I've got a fold-out bed somewhere for when your son comes to stay. 380 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,639 Oh, that's nice. 381 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,676 So, what do you think? 382 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,592 I think it's smashing. 383 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,513 Yeah, my wife used to use it as her study. 384 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,397 Oh, you're divorced? 385 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,629 Amicably. 386 00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,950 Blimey! How did you manage to pull that one off? 387 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,270 It took a while. 388 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:06,512 How about you? Divorced? - No. Separated. But only for a trial period. 389 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,911 And afterwards, you get a mint imperial and a carnation for the lady. 390 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,991 You don't get that in your fancy restaurants. 391 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,036 You certainly don't. 392 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,720 How was your korma? 393 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,999 You big girl! That is a lass's curry! 394 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,675 I'm telling you, if Pete knew I was out with someone who had a korma... 395 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,911 Oh, that was the P word. Sorry. 396 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,831 Er, I'll change the subject. 397 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,440 What is it you do...again? 398 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,433 We develop communications systems that utilise Internet technology, 399 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:47,993 but via the telephone interface as opposed to the outmoded QWERTY keyboard. 400 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,355 No. Sorry. Different language. 401 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,035 You've got to understand, I haven't come to terms with Ceefax yet. 402 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,035 What? 403 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:03,190 Nothing. 404 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,716 Good. Right. Do you want to go back up for some more? 405 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,475 Er, no. I'm fine. 406 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,836 Do you think I'm taking ''eat as much as you like'' a bit literally? 407 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,592 Well, stuff it! It's my fiver. 408 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,319 I'm going to make the most of it. 409 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:24,123 Green spaces in our cities are absolutely vital... 410 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,155 You wanted to say somethlng, sir? 411 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,549 Who me? No, sorry, no, I'm just leaving. 412 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,757 Well, thank you for your contribution. 413 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,149 I would like to make one point, if I may? 414 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,559 Yes? 415 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,234 You're on item one of a 19-point agenda, 416 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:43,438 and I feel by the time you reach item two, they'll have actually built the supermarket. 417 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,236 You are an excellent shopper, sir. 418 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,276 Why, thank you. 419 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,476 I did a special course at college. 420 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,790 God. I am absolutely knackered. 421 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,952 Not too knackered, I hope. - Why? 422 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,632 Well, Pete's out. 423 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,438 Yeah? 424 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,078 We've got the house to ourselves. 425 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,391 Yeah, for a couple of hours, at least. Why, what do you have in mind? 426 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,633 What's brought all this on? - I don't know. Maybe it was all that shopping. 427 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,996 You are aroused by shopping? 428 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,674 Does that make me a bad person? - I think it probably does. 429 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,392 We could see the world. 430 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,357 South America. 431 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:31,668 Australia. 432 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:32,988 India. 433 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,274 Hm. Great! 434 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,112 I've always fancied India. 435 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,199 Seems a bit ambitious for two weeks, though, doesn't it? 436 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,794 It doesn't have to be for two weeks. 437 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,394 I could ask work for a month off. A sabbatical. 438 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:47,913 Well, that's fine for you, 439 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,629 but my company's bollocksed if I'm not there. 440 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,395 The important thing to remember is that we can do whatever we want. 441 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,476 Two more years of freedom. 442 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,471 Yeah? 443 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,516 Two more years of freedom. 444 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:11,839 A certain politician once said that there is no such thing as society. 445 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:17,032 Well, as I look around this hall tonight, that's not what I see. 446 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,475 I see society. 447 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,516 I see a community. 448 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,435 Now, this isn't just about a couple of swings and slides. 449 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,829 Or property prices. No. 450 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,878 It's about other people's children. 451 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,953 Children who don't have three-quarters of an acre to run around in. 452 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:40,791 The insidious erosion of their quality of life. 453 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,559 Now, I'm no hypocrite. 454 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,108 I use supermarkets. 455 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,236 And yes, I want convenience. 456 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,675 Yes, I want groceries. 457 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,556 But not at any price. 458 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,396 For when it comes down to it, 459 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:03,439 what price sticker can you put on the smile of a child? 460 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,678 Thanks. OK. 461 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,751 Ah, you should have been there, Karen. 462 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,150 Felt the atmosphere. It was electric. - I'm sure you were an inspiration. 463 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,832 So, the playground's saved, is it? 464 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,036 Well, obviously, there's still a long way to go, 465 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,554 but now the Playground Task Force is up and running... 466 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:52,232 The Playground Task Force? 467 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,435 Task Force. Yes. 468 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,308 David, it's two swings and a slide. It's hardly the Guns Of Navarone, is it? 469 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,233 Well, you were the one who went on about quality of life. 470 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,915 So I suppose you must be the newly appointed Playground Tsar? 471 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,154 Yes. 472 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,636 I don't think you're taking me seriously. 473 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,234 So, where did you go for a drink? - Sorry? 474 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,276 You've been drinking. 475 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:20,239 Oh, just a quick pint, you know, with my comrades. 476 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:24,518 Well, I've been sort of off the political scene recently. 477 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:29,150 I was pretty active with the anti-Apartheid movement, of course, 478 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,834 but not that much since then, so I suppose... 479 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,480 Yeah, it's politics with a small P. 480 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,950 So, would you describe yourself as a socialist? 481 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,998 A socialist? Um... 482 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,954 How about socialist with a small S? 483 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:47,479 How small? 484 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:49,635 That small. 485 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,080 Yeah, well, I suppose I would. Yeah. 486 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,912 If the S were small enough. 487 00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:01,354 David, I wanted to ask you something. 488 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,398 But I'm worried it's a bit forward. 489 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,789 Well, you'll never find out until you try. 490 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,838 OK. I wonder... 491 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,913 Have you ever considered joining the Labour Party? 492 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:16,874 The Labour Party? 493 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,394 New Labour, actually. Is that so surprising? 494 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:25,157 Well, yes, it is, actually, seeing as the only organisation you've ever joined is the RAC. 495 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,079 Do you want to go upstairs? 496 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,038 Are you sure? - No... I think I'm sure, yeah. 497 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,638 Sorry, Robert. 498 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,676 I'm a nervous wreck, aren't I? 499 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,355 I haven't been in this position for years. 15 years. 500 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,557 I'm like a teenager, aren't I? I'm shaking and everything. Pathetic. 501 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,438 Jenny, it's fine. Look, do you want me to go? 502 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,596 No, I don't. 503 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:00,830 Look, we can just... 504 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:02,876 you know, go upstairs? 505 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,996 We don't have to do anything. 506 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,435 Just...have a cuddle, and... 507 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,316 ..just go to sleep, yeah? 508 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,988 Actually, I think I quite want sex. 509 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:25,597 Hello. Our first visitors. You must be Adam...and Rachel. 510 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:30,629 I assume I got that the right way round? Come in, come in. Pete's upstairs. 511 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,312 Thanks. 512 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,356 I'd just like to say a few words. 513 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,670 Whilst it's been a pleasure having you to stay, 514 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,149 it's even more of a pleasure having you move out. 515 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,710 So, if I may, I'd like to propose a toast to... 516 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,552 the future. 517 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,198 The future. 518 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,194 Well, I suppose it'll do. For the time being, anyway. 519 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,113 Yeah. Hey, it'll certainly make a change, living with a gay guy. 520 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:57,838 Who's a gay guy? 521 00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,319 Your landlord. 522 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,868 Matthew? Matthew's not gay. 523 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,554 Why are there photos of him and his boyfriend in the hall? 524 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,553 That's just his best mate. I've got pictures of you and me. 525 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,916 Yeah. Not of us holding hands in our swimming trunks, though. 526 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,991 What about all those musical soundtracks? 527 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,036 Loads of straight blokes like musicals. 528 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:19,351 I loved Les Mis. Anyway, he can't be gay, he's divorced. 529 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,758 Did you seriously not know? 530 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,274 It'll be interesting, a whole new lifestyle. 531 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,477 He could teach you how to cook. - And dance down Canal Street. 532 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,552 And at least you'll know this place will always be neat. 533 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,631 Will you stop laughing at me? 534 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,838 I cannot tell you how sick I am of watching you two laugh at me. 535 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,150 Sorry, Pete. We were just having a bit of fun. 536 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,117 That's all it is to you - a bit of fun! 537 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,159 You sit there all smug, and then it's back to your cosy little love nest, 538 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,676 while I sit here in this dump going out of my skull with loneliness. 539 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,516 Pete, come on. It's not that bad. 540 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,513 Adam! How can you say that? Look at me - I'm falling to bits. 541 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,229 I've lost my family. I'm in a job that I loathe with people I hate. 542 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,437 My friends think I'm some sort of joke. Jenny despises me. 543 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,795 Jenny doesn't despise you. - Rachel! 544 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,155 She flinches when I go to touch her. 545 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,038 My wife. Can you imagine what that's like? 546 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,476 And now I look at Jenny. She's fine. 547 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:19,633 She's flying. Dumping me was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. 548 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,632 And meanwhile there's me - the best part of my life over, 549 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:27,316 living here in some shithole with a three-bar fire... 550 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:33,309 ..an empty bed and just some lonely, weird old queen for company. 551 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:38,269 Now, you tell me, could it possibly, possibly get any worse? 552 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:39,554 Well, tell me! 553 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,350 I did knock, but I don't think you could have heard me. 554 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,874 Er...flat-warming present. 555 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:54,279 I hope you'll be very happy here, Pete. 556 00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,954 If you want me, I'll be downstairs, 557 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,395 Listening to my Judy Garland records... 558 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:03,678 flower arranging, ironing my bandanna, that sort of thing. 559 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,716 Well, good night. 560 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:13,039 Morning, Barry. How was your weekend? Action-packed? 561 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,436 What's the matter with you? 562 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,114 The supervisor wants to see you in his office. 563 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,590 Oh, God! Here we go again. 564 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,677 They're very strict on personal phone calls. 565 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,558 They beat you to death with rolls of fax paper if they catch you. 566 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,949 Well, it's obvious, isn't it? 567 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,315 That is someone impersonating me. 568 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:40,632 We do take matters like this very seriously, Mrs Gifford. 569 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,075 I'm afraid we'll have to issue a formal warning. 570 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,071 What? For making a joke? 571 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,118 It's our policy to regularly screen employees' calls. 572 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,590 If you have any complaints, I suggest you take it up with your agency. 573 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,399 Right. Thanks very much. 574 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:59,190 Listen, just out of interest, how many more formal warnings do I get before I get fired? 575 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,838 Just the one. 576 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,876 Good. 577 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,916 Will that do it? 578 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:32,199 See you, Barry. 579 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,236 Keep in touch. 580 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,836 Thanks for coming round, you two. I was starting to feel a bit mad. 581 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,956 What happened to the joys of motherhood? 582 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,678 It's a myth. 583 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:50,153 I just miss adults. Big, properly proportioned people who can walk and talk, and eat solids. 584 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,037 David's never here. 585 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,430 Especially since he's discovered radical politics. 586 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,229 Even when he is, we're too tired to do anything except grunt. 587 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,072 I'm spending so much time with Ramona, 588 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,799 I'm beginning to think English is my second language. 589 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,792 I swear to God, you two don't know how lucky you are. 590 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,711 Why are we lucky? 591 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:09,676 Sorry? 592 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,354 You, Pete, Jen, you all keep telling us how lucky we are. 593 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,113 I don't feel that lucky. Why are we lucky? Tell us. 594 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,397 Well, because you've got your freedom. 595 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,913 You mean we don't have kids? 596 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,956 Well, no. You don't yet, do you? 597 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,549 Well, I'm sure you will eventually, but... 598 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,428 Sorry. Have I said something wrong? - No, of course you haven't. Adam... 599 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,432 What if we can't have them, eh? Will we still feel lucky then? 600 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,431 We can have them. 601 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,750 We were going to talk about it in two years' time. 602 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,990 Because we're too scared to talk about it now. 603 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,753 I think I'll go and check up on the twins. 604 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:47,393 What is wrong with you? 605 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,436 What is wrong with me? - Yes. 606 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,590 Have you forgotten, Rachel, I had cancer? 607 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,033 Yes, but you're better now. 608 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,076 Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. 609 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:59,517 Rachel, why are we avoiding this subject? Why don't we just come out and say it? 610 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,398 I might be infertile. - And you might not be. 611 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,677 You don't get it, do you? I thought you were pregnant. 612 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,435 I thought you were going to have our baby. You led me to believe you were pregnant. 613 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:13,559 Adam, that is not fair... - Then you tell me it was all a stupid false alarm. 614 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:14,789 You said you didn't mind. 615 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,110 Well, I lied, then! I lied! 616 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,998 Don't you think I wasn't disappointed? 617 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,231 Eh? I want us to have children too, you know. 618 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,393 So, why aren't we? Why can't we just come out and say, ''We want babies''? 619 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:31,029 Because we can't, and we're scared it will all be my fault. 620 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,315 It's not your fault! It's nobody's fault. 621 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,949 It's easy for you to say. You're all right. We all know you can have a baby! 622 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,429 Is that what this is about? Hey? 623 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,476 No. No. Of course not. 624 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,997 You're blaming me because of the abortion. You think it's all my fault? 625 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,833 Rachel, that's not what I meant to say. I didn't... 626 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:02,596 You know, if there's a more pig-ignorant, fat-headed, 627 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,877 big-mouthed little bollocks out there, I'd like to meet him. 628 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,194 Oh, Rachel, I'm sorry. 629 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,838 Come here. 630 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:24,313 Sweetheart, we can't let this ruin things between us. 631 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:31,590 You're right. We should face facts, but...let's not let it mess us up. 632 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,319 What are we gonna do? 633 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,629 I think... 634 00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:39,915 I think we should go and see a specialist. 635 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,956 Oh, God! 636 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,158 You banked some sperm. You must have known that one day we might have to use it. 637 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:49,596 I suppose so. - Well, maybe that time is now. 638 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,839 I'm so happy at the moment. 639 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:59,151 Just us doing what we want to do, but... 640 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,750 ..I don't want it to be just us any more. 641 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:10,115 And I don't want a new kitchen, or to go to India, or to concentrate on my career. 642 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,191 I want us to start a family. 643 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,475 I know, I know. Me too. 644 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:18,235 You know, doctors, and tests, and treatment... 645 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,990 It just all sounds like such a nightmare. 646 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,958 Well, that depends on how you look at it, doesn't it? 647 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,797 You could see it as a nightmare, or... 648 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,236 you can see it as an exciting adventure. 649 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,195 An exciting adventure? 650 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,236 Mm. 651 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,790 So, which member of the Famous Five are you? 652 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,350 Right. What's my next assignment? 653 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:52,592 Well, let me see. We've just had a call from a china shop. They need a bull. 654 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:53,954 Sorry? 655 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,998 Jenny, I'm afraid there isn't going to be a next assignment. 656 00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,275 You're messing about, aren't you? 657 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:03,069 Every job, you've either been sacked, or you resigned before they could sack you. 658 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:06,277 Come on. There must be something. 659 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,316 Not during peacetime, no. 660 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,916 Maybe I'm just unemployable. 661 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,277 Maybe you're just not very good at being told what to do. 662 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:17,952 Maybe. 663 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,759 So, what are you going to do? 664 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:26,233 I don't know. Waitressing or bar work, I suppose. It'll be all right. 665 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,438 I'll just... I'll ask around at some restaurants this weekend. It'll be fine. 666 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:32,272 Er... 667 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:33,429 What? 668 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,953 About this weekend. 669 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:38,350 Oh, yeah? - I was hoping you'd be free. 670 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,351 Why? 671 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:45,514 Well... I thought we'd take a little trip. 672 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,396 New York! You're bloody joking! 673 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,472 It's only for the weekend. - No. No way! What about Adam? 674 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:56,870 It's your weekend to have him. - No, from Saturday morning onwards! 675 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,916 What, and you can't pick him up on Friday? 676 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:02,788 Cos you've got plans with Cindy Crawford? - That is not the point! 677 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:07,590 The point is you cannot bear the thought of me having any fun, can you? 678 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:11,229 No, you'd rather I sat on my fat arse and felt sorry for myself. 679 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,595 Jesus Christ, you can be a selfish cow! 680 00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,558 Yeah, and you can be a self-pitying, stupid bastard! 681 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:17,914 Oh, shut up! Christ! 682 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,319 God! 683 00:39:20,720 --> 00:39:23,473 We're not handling this very well, are we? 684 00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,199 No. No, not really. No. 685 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,669 Look, you know I've always wanted to go to New York. 686 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,354 Well, that's half the problem, isn't it? - What is? 687 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,480 Because I always wanted to take you. 688 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,199 Pete, you know that's not going to happen now. 689 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,635 Look, I'm sorry. I am. 690 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:44,954 But I like Robert. 691 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:49,511 I don't know what's gonna happen, if it's serious or what, but I like him, 692 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:53,195 and I really need the company, and I want to move on, 693 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,512 and I'm really sorry if you're upset, but I've been unhappy for a long time, 694 00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:59,909 and I just think this is unfair. 695 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,200 You're not going to change your mind, are you? 696 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,236 No. 697 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:08,799 No, I'm not. 698 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,073 So, you took the precaution of banking some sperm? 699 00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:20,630 When I had the radiotherapy, yes. - Very wise. Do you know how much? 700 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,676 How much? Erm... 701 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,751 More than a teaspoonful, less than a pint. 702 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,308 Actually, it was quite hard getting it into the wee jar. 703 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:32,076 Why? Is that important? - It is if you were planning artificial insemination. 704 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,628 If Adam's supply is cut off, so to speak, 705 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:38,679 then there's a possibility that after a few treatments we might just run out. 706 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:40,159 And so what's the alternative? 707 00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:43,118 Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection. 708 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:47,273 If your sperm is in short supply, it's the best option, best option... 709 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,956 It's pretty much the same as IVF, but we inject a single sperm into the egg. 710 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,429 It takes place externally. 711 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,715 We'd have to remove a number of eggs, Rachel. 712 00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,194 The procedure... 713 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,112 ..which we can pop back in. 714 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:07,718 Whatever you choose to do, 715 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,952 I think it's probably safe to say it's the most difficult decision you'll ever make. 716 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,509 Are you familiar with the word emasculation? 717 00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,556 Emasculation? 718 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,596 Horrible, isn't it? 719 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:26,313 I always thought I was this little bundle of testosterone. 720 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:31,349 Whenever I slept with someone - and God knows, I've done my share - 721 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,671 afterwards, I'd always lie there and think, 722 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:39,197 ''Please God, I hope they're not pregnant, what with me being such a man and all.'' 723 00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:43,118 I thought if a woman sipped my pint she'd have twins. 724 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:50,317 But now, with Rachel, for the first time, I'm thinking, 725 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,316 ''Please, God... 726 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,950 will you please just let us have a baby?'' 727 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,237 All that time, I treated sex as... 728 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,118 recreation, fun, a laugh... 729 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,475 ..and then, all of a sudden, I realise what it's for. 730 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:13,475 This very simple, very ordinary, yet beautiful thing. 731 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,036 And I can't manage it. 732 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,190 I can't manage it. 733 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,679 I feel llke I'm being punished. 734 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,752 God, listen to me talking like a Catholic. 735 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,509 What does Rachel think about the idea? 736 00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,556 About the treatment? 737 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,955 I'm excited, but I'm scared too. 738 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,713 Basically, if a doctor says there's this procedure 739 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:45,554 that's stressful, painful and fantastically expensive, 740 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:50,839 you're not exactly going to say, '''Way-hey, book me in'', are you? 741 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,559 What does Adam think? 742 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,279 I don't know. He hasn't said yet. 743 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,396 I think he's worried about the money. 744 00:42:58,480 --> 00:42:59,390 Four grand! 745 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,631 Per treatment. Times that by four or five, maybe. 746 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,315 Blimey. 747 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,356 Right, I'll get the next round in. 748 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,396 You put your money away. 749 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:11,549 Scratchings? 750 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:13,919 It's not just the money, is it? 751 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:19,518 It's...you know, the stress, the anxiety, and there are all these other questions. 752 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,189 What if there's something wrong with Adam's sperm? 753 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:26,636 Are we going to use a sperm donor? Some complete stranger? 754 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:30,793 Well, it needn't be a stranger. You could ask someone you already know. 755 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:34,111 Darling, have you seen my golf shoes? - Cupboard under the stairs. 756 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,350 Right. 757 00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:40,399 Don't worry. I wasn't going to suggest it. 758 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,472 If you ever do run out of sperm, I've got loads going spare. 759 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:48,199 Thanks, Pete. I'm touched. 760 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,236 Disturbed but touched. 761 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,956 So, anyway, now you know. 762 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:57,715 I'm sorry, mate. I had no idea. - It's all right. You've got enough to worry about. 763 00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:59,119 Yeah. 764 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,156 So, did Jenny tell you about New York? 765 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:02,753 Uh-huh. 766 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,229 Do you think I'm being a bastard? 767 00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:10,110 I think Jenny's having fun and you're not, and that's hard. 768 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,475 Still, it's like that Sting song, isn't it? 769 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,847 Englishman In New York? - No. 770 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,515 Russians? Dream Of The Blue Turtles? 771 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,717 No. If You Love Somebody Set Them Free. 772 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,274 I suppose so. 773 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,750 I can't help it, though. I bloody hate that bloke. - Who? Robert? 774 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,831 No, Sting. 775 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,515 Tottenham in front within three mlnutes of the re-start. 776 00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:38,836 I'm sorry about the other day. 777 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,956 It's all right. 778 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:44,271 If it's going to be a problem, though, it might be a good idea to move out. 779 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:49,388 No, no, no, it's all right. It's just I've been under a bit of stress lately. 780 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,436 Yeah. I know what it's like. 781 00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:54,876 Me and my wife had a terrible break-up. 782 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,554 What happened? 783 00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:01,713 She caught me in bed with our next-door neighbour. Patrick. 784 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,316 Right. 785 00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:08,470 So, you don't think she over-reacted? 786 00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,116 So? 787 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,276 So... 788 00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,914 We're gonna do this, yes? 789 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:27,117 Yeah. But together, yeah? 790 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,116 Oh, yeah. 791 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,476 And we're gonna look after each other all the time, yeah? 792 00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,120 Yeah. 793 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,760 And while we're waiting for the doctors and all that... 794 00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:39,829 Mm-hm? 795 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:45,199 ..we're gonna keep trying naturally at every single possible available opportunity. 796 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,236 Yeah? 797 00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,276 Ooh, yeah. 798 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,956 Hello? - Hi, it's me. 799 00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,828 Don't worry. I'm not phoning to moan or shout or anything. 800 00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:03,319 That's a shame. 801 00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:07,279 I just wanted to say, I'm still trying to get used to the idea, but next weekend - 802 00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:11,194 you can go to New York with Robert or whatever his name is, 803 00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,236 and I'll look after Adam, all right? 804 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:15,869 Are you sure? 805 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,030 Of course I'm sure. He's my son, isn't he? 806 00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:22,079 Right. Listen, where are you living? What's going on? 807 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,390 I've got a new place. It's great. 808 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,756 It's got ceilings, walls, the lot. I've got a great landlord. 809 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:29,273 You'll have to come round. 810 00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,316 Listen, that's brilliant. 811 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,794 Thanks, Pete. - That's all right. 812 00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,994 Um, how are you? Are you all right? 813 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,036 Yeah, I think I am. 814 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:43,475 Yeah. I'm all right. 815 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,757 Hey, Jenny, give my regards to Broadway, yeah? 816 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,796 Yeah. 817 00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,836 Thanks, Pete. Bye. 818 00:46:51,305 --> 00:46:57,195 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org